What are you really announcing to the world?

Stephen Covey, renowned author of the book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, is quoted as saying, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Truer words were never spoken. In fact, it is this type of thinking that a lot of folks are not doing enough of nowadays.  Everything in life is interconnected through relationships!  There are relationships with yourself, with your children and family, with partners, with colleagues, with nations.  Each one is us, you and I alike, need to be our own relationship expert if we want to be understood.   It does require a certain amount of self-discipline as you learn how to empower yourself in a healthy and positive way.

 Take social media for example, while we may have seen a dramatic upswing in online discussions, we are also beginning to see deterioration in human dialog and empathy. One minute we are reading and seeing pictures on how a girl just ate a peanut butter sandwich and the next how she was sleeping with a guy for kicks and giggles. How’s that for meaningful conversation?

 Now, it is perfectly fine if you choose to broadcast your life online but remember there are always consequences to your actions and yes, even your words. How you present yourselves to the external world does have its ramifications!  To be noticed and appreciated doesn’t require you to be showy or flashy, but rather to have a solid relationship with yourself that lets others know you are content and satisfied in your skin because you love yourself.

People who act out and are showy feel that they are not being sufficiently noticed, and therefore, need to take some measure to gain attention.  They often want to be validated and will do anything to be liked and accepted.   Please don’t get me wrong!  Showing off is not bad, however, when that showy person gets arrogant, offensive and acts out improperly it is bad! 

We are social beings and want to be accepted and liked yet there is an appropriate manner of getting your message out to the world and then there is one that is offensive and often harmful.  By becoming your own relationship expert, you are empowering yourself to better know yourself as you feel validated and become more self-confident.  It is important to value who you are and what you have become. 

 Before you can have sound relationships with others, you need to learn how to act and perform for your best good.  You do not have to actively need to appease the crowds around you; sometimes the company you attract may not be in your best interest. Nor should you use your “messaging” skills to harm another.

 Covey further stated something even more important: “While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions.” You see, even in brief conversation, “messaging” or “texting” — you may be dropping tidbits of personal (sometimes too personal) information about your life, lifestyles and the lives of others that can often cause harm. In doing so, you condemn both yourselves and sometimes others to a smudged reputation. It is not okay to haphazardly toss personal information about your intimate life because when you do, you are ultimately becoming the cog of the rumor mill. Your ill thought actions can negatively and harmfully impact and damage another human beings or group of people. The worst part is that when you do so, you often do not realize the repercussions until the havoc has ensued.  It is far better to build relationships with others that are meaningful and valued.  I encourage you to make time to be your own relationship expert.  With time you will begin to cherish who you have become and all that you want to be known for.  Empower yourself to be the best that you can be! Believe you are worthy and that you are enough!

 We can boost our confidence in various ways, such as,

 1. Speak confidently about yourself without bragging.  You don’t have to sell yourself, you simply need to portray the proper body language, dress appropriately, not flashy and speak about yourself with pride and yet humility.

 2. Speak with a purpose and don’t gossip.  A confident person makes everyone around them feel better.  Learn to speak less and listen more.  We all can learn something new just by listening.

 3. Seek out friendships that will boast your finer qualities and who are confident and comfortable within their own skin.  They will help you rise up and match their frequency.

 Are you willing to be responsible for your words and your actions?  What are you doing today to become your own relationship expert? Learn to love all of you and empower yourself in a proactive and positive fashion.  If you participate in malice and personal intrusion, you are becoming the problem yourself.  I encourage you to think before you speak or act. It may mean the difference between a random act of kindness and a random act of cruelty.

 Remember this too:  anyone that you maltreat today may one day have the last laugh on you!


Joan Marie Ambrose -- Author, Creative Writer, Motivational Speaker

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Blog Date: 
Tuesday, October 2, 2018