Do you have double standards?

 Too often we are critical of those who don’t fit into the mold of what we call our friends or those who voice a different opinion then our self.  We make excuses for the attitudes or behavior of our friends but then we tear apart others who do the exact same thing.  We think it is OK to shun some people because we don’t like their way of thinking or their looks and yet we justify our actions because it serves our purposes.  We often lie to ourselves as we twist facts to support our beliefs and our conduct or even our need to be liked and noticed.   As a relationship expert, I label that type of conduct as living with double standards.

I have personally seen how people will maneuver to get closer to those whom they want to impress or gain their favor not because they actually like them but because they have an ulterior motive.  Possible they want support, or a job or even earn the attention of those whom they have been trying to attract for some hidden reason.  As a relationship expert and life coach, I can truly say with confidence that most people do not say what they mean, they do not do what they say they are going to do and they do not mean what they say.  During my career, I have coached many individuals who are suffering and feeling confused and baffled about their lives yet they choose not to take the high road and get to the root of their issues.  Instead they look outside of themselves for the answers and solutions. 

So what exactly is a double standard?  A double standard is the application of different sets of values and principles for similar situations that you enforce to satisfy your ego mind and your intolerance of others for your personal gain.

To truly know your self is golden! Most people would enjoy a more fulfilling and comfortable life if they seriously took the time to discover their authentic self.  Everything in life evolves around relationships and good and healthy relationships are the happiest and most successful encounters that we can enjoy. As a life coach I have seen the sadness and hurt of people who lack the skills to develop healthy relationships.  Healthy relationships are necessary if we want to feel connected with others in a strong and uplifting way. 

Each one of us has the talent and ability to become our own relationship expert if and when we willingly take the time to dig deep within ourselves and look honestly at our behavior, our attitude and the environment we surround our selves around. We seem to seek out relationships to satisfy our needs yet we refuse to face our needs and therefore, they are not being satisfied or fulfilled. 

Now is the time to coach yourself, talk to yourself and look at yourself in the mirror hard and strong.  If you become a source of joy and inner peace for yourself, you will be better able to cultivate those types of relationships with others.  Stop living with double standards and face what it is that you ideally value and appreciate.  Self-observation is a great way to start!

Joan Marie Ambrose -- Author, Creative Writer, Motivational Speaker

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Blog Date: 
Tuesday, May 2, 2017